As Thyself
Written by Alisa Davis
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” – Proverbs 4:23
As followers of Christ, we are frequently admonished to “love our neighbors” and to “love God”, and we are cautioned to not love as the world loves which is based on selfishness [1]. Loving our neighbors and loving God are the foundation upon which all of scripture is laid, Christ called them the “greatest commandments” (Matthew 22:37-40). Sharing the restored gospel, acts of service, and seeking to emulate Christ in everything we do are ways that we show our love for others and consequently shows God that we love him when we love who he loves [2]. The church library is bursting with beautiful and eloquent words from Prophets and church authorities on what it looks like to fulfill the commandments to love God and love our neighbors but there is a critical piece that often isn’t addressed in the same conversation. Christ said to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. We must first love ourselves to love others, in other words, you can’t give out of an empty cup.
Since the Covid pandemic there has been a 38% increase in people seeking mental health support [3] and “It’s estimated that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men will experience major depression in their lives [4]”. With the rise in mental health issues there has also been a rise in drug use, suicide, and other destructive behaviors resulting in rising incarceration rates as well. Perhaps Christ’s warning that the end days would be marked by a shortage of love for others is also a warning that there would be a shortage of self-love as well, as the scriptures say – “the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:12). Self-love and selfish self-interest can be difficult to discern between, self-love can sometimes be mistaken as pride, haughtiness, or even narcissism. But the cure isn’t to hold ourselves to an impossible standard of holiness that only leads to self-hatred when we inevitably fail. We must first fill our own cup with the love of God which will naturally overflow into love for God and others [5,6]. So how do we make ourselves “full of love” (D&C 12:8)?
There has been new research in recent decades into the role the heart plays in regulating our wellbeing and the impact of our emotions on our ability to function. We experience emotions because our body releases a cascade of chemicals and electrical impulses that our brain then interprets in response to stimulus. It doesn’t matter if that stimulus is something outside of ourselves or something that happens only in our mind, whether you are literally being chased by a tiger or only imagining it your body responds the same way. The Institute of HeartMath [7] is leading the scientific inquiry into the impact that emotions have on us and the role the heart plays in our well-being. It used to be thought that the heart had a regular beat, like a metronome, and was simply a pump to keep blood flowing through the body. It is now known that our heartbeat is variable and the space between beats is constantly changing in response to our physical needs and emotional state. It is also now known that the heart sends more signals to the brain than the brain does to the heart, it is the heart that regulates the brain and nervous system.
The astonishing reality is that our emotions have a greater influence on our heart rate than the physical demands of daily life or exercise; negative emotions, whether they are directed at the self or others, such as hatred, anger, or fear do more to age our hearts than any other factor. “During stress and negative emotions, when the heart rhythm pattern is erratic and disordered, the corresponding pattern of neural signals traveling from the heart to the brain inhibits higher cognitive functions. This limits our ability to think clearly, remember, learn, reason, and make effective decisions. (This helps explain why we may often act impulsively and unwisely when we’re under stress.)” Positive emotions, with love being one of the most powerful, have the greatest positive impact on our hearts causing the heart to beat in a smooth rhythm that sends powerful signals to the brain and both branches of the nervous system to synchronize them and cause them to work together. “The more ordered and stable pattern of the heart’s input to the brain during positive emotional states has the opposite effect – it facilitates cognitive function and reinforces positive feelings and emotional stability. This means that learning to generate increased heart rhythm coherence, by sustaining positive emotions, not only benefits the entire body, but also profoundly affects how we perceive, think, feel, and perform.”
Our capacity to use our mind and soul (or will) to love God and others is a direct a result of whether we have been guarding our hearts and loving ourselves. We have the ability to choose to cultivate positive emotions in our lives and the tools to do this are available to us through science and the wisdom of our spiritual ancestors in the Christian church. Christians for the last two thousand years have been using prayer and meditation to fill their hearts and minds with God’s love and word daily. They knew that it had the power to change them and there are numerous accounts of individuals experiencing manifestations of Divine Love in their lives in the midst of some of the most tumultuous times of history. Not to be confused with “empty prayers” or eastern new age spirituality these ancient practices utilized repetition and silence as a means of focusing the mind and heart on God to the exclusion of all else. What they didn’t know they were doing was programing neural pathways in their brains to think and respond a certain way and training their hearts in the positive emotions that would literally bring peace to their bodies.
We can begin to experience this for ourselves by learning more about our hearts (there are numerous resources and books available at HeartMath.com) and learning more about ancient Christian practices of prayer and meditation. President David O. McKay said “Meditation is the language of the soul. It is defined as ‘a form of private devotion, or spiritual exercise, consisting in deep, continued reflection on some religious theme.’ Meditation is a form of prayer. . . . [It] is one of the most secret, sacred doors through which we pass into the presence of the Lord [8].” If you would like to get started today I have written the following guided heart-centered meditation based in scripture.
Divine Love Meditation
Find a comfortable place to sit where you will not be disturbed. I recommend taking a moment to read and become familiar with the prayer and look at the scripture references given for each line. The truths given to us in scripture have been distilled down into this self-love prayer. It is simple and short because we are going to dig deep into the words and plant them in our hearts.
The first step is to quiet the mind and body before beginning our prayer. Bring your attention to the top of your head and relax the muscles there, then relax your eyes, mouth, shoulders, arms. Relax each part of your body as you put your attention on it until you reach your feet. Think of a moment in your life when you have felt deeply loved, remember that feeling and maintain the feeling of that emotion while letting go of the memory. We are going to connect that feeling with the words of the prayer as we go through this meditation.
Once you feel relaxed begin with saying the first line of the prayer, either out loud or to yourself, and focus all your attention on the words and the feeling of love. Repeat it until you feel yourself naturally moving on to the next line, take your time, there is no rush. When you have reached the end of the prayer allow yourself to rest in the silence for a minute, like you would in the arms of a loved one, and finally close in the name of Jesus Christ when you are done.
God is Love (1 John 4:7-8)
I am fully and completely loved (John 3:16)
I am made in the image of perfect Love (Genesis 1:26)
In love I live and move and have my being (1 Corinthians 16:14, Acts 17:28)
I am love. (1 John 4:16-18)
References
- Burton, Theodore. “The Need for Love.” Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1979/04/the-need-for-love?lang=eng#title1. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025.
- Roman, Thomas. “Loving God with All Your Heart and Our Neighbor As Ourselves.” Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, caribbean.churchofjesuschrist.org/loving-god-with-all-your-heart-and-our-neighbor-as-ourselves. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025.
- Insel, Thomas M.D. “America’S Mental Health Crisis.” Pew Trusts, 8 Dec. 2023, www.pewtrusts.org/en/trend/archive/fall-2023/americas-mental-health-crisis. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025.
- Saloni Dattani, Lucas Rodés-Guirao, Hannah Ritchie and Max Roser (2023) – “Mental Health” Published online at OurWorldinData.org. Retrieved from: ‘https://ourworldindata.org/mental-health’ [Online Resource]
- Wengler, Brynn. “The Battle for Loving Yourself.” Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2024/02/digital-only-young-adults/the-battle-for-loving-yourself?lang=eng. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025.
- Hart Doll, Valerie. “Learning That Self-Loathing Isn’t the Savior’s Tool.” Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2023/07/digital-only-young-adults/learning-that-self-loathing-isnt-the-saviors-tool?lang=eng. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025.
- https://www.heartmath.com/science/
- Randal, T. Ruth. “Meditation: The 15-Minute-A-Day Habit to Increasing Spirituality.” Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2018/09/afs-eng-local-pages/local-news-003?lang=eng. Accessed 13 Feb. 2025
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